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[24 Feb 2009|10:20pm] |
It’s hard to remember a time
when, no, time is hard to understand,
it’s hard to understand what happened before a fondle or two in the mind,
well, fuck, I’m just black holing, holing a putt
One day when parading in the scent of one another, you can close your eyes and let me speak hotly, only with no words
are you a crazy angel or what?????????????
these footsteps are so heavy with valuables, don’t you see
man, nothing is linear, nor should it be, i just don’t want droopy, don’t you see, I just don’t want scrambled
this ruby thing is contagious and you can feel it, this doctrine is dangerous
demigod doctrine
demigod doctrine
is geography a language, a knowledge, is this eternity meant to be so firey?
This breath is blossoming in the same manner as some painting by numbers, but the colors are too psychedelic, this is a dream man, a dream, don’t you see???????????????????
Let the breeze move us on, my soul is impatient
bastard-kid
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[22 Apr 2008|11:30am] |
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I've discovered foul play in the lexicon of my actions. Pushing me to the outermost ring of comfort, a coquette, yeah, with which I've become familiar, whatever, occurances are stained by treacherous mishaps, this is not it and so I dream of love stories
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[04 Dec 2007|11:48pm] |
And then I came home.
Lately, home has become "HOme," (huh-"ohhh") and "home" has become nowhere.
///It's funny right now. All of it. My face is pink and emitting some sort of luke-warm heat. My hands look like the belly of a speckled trout. Cold weather, oh overheated no-home, you devils. The things you do to me, you know, those things you do.
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[19 Nov 2007|04:43am] |
I've found myself standing on one foot (the other only balancing on toes for stability). I really shouldn't tell you that I'm standing, or that I've "found myself," or even introduce the concept of balancing for stability. All I'm doing is leaning against the marble of Grand Central Station. Leanin' on marble, just restin'.
Some individual nearby has taken to smoking indoors. I don't respond to the scent. A group of eyes belonging to a dismal posse of young Westchester residents with blow-outs and fake tans has followed my body until just now; I've become mobile. Using my feet, I escape the silent criticism that almost always coincides with these awkward moments while waiting for trains.
Two young men have entered this train car, the one in which I placed myself moments earlier, and have lowered their heavily dressed figures, just across the isle from where I am seated.
No one else has entered my car.
Until now; a young man in showy over-sized headphones patrols the isles too comfortably. Everything about him is showy. I follow him with my eyes, exercising my facial muscles in order to keep them from revealing any judgments I may be making. He proceeds to grow smaller until he disappears from my vision entirely. Then I realize I'm in a shipwreck.
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| I am on fire |
[15 Nov 2007|12:48am] |
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I AM WET ONLY TO MY ANKLES THIS PLACE IS FAMILIAR AND SMELLS LIKE MOSS I WIPE MY CHEEKS AND FIND MY PALMS DAMP WITH MILK I MUST LEAVE PLEASE MOTHER I SEE YOU IN YOUR AIRPLANE JUST OUT OF REACH THE SOUND OF PUMPING PELVISES AND TRANSFERING OF FLUIDS IS INTRODUCED TO MY EARS AND TWELVE THOUSAND DARK BISON COME RUNNING FROM MY STOMACH I AM NOT ALARMED I DON'T MIND I DON'T MIND I DON'T MIND MY MIND IS TENDER FROM THINKING EXHAUSTING THOUGHTS AND BEGINS TO BOB LIKE A BUOY THEN IT SINKS AS IT GOES BUBBLES RISE AND I KNOW I HAVE TO RETRIEVE IT MOTHERFUCKER I DIVE DOWN I SEE MY FORMER LOVER BEING SODOMIZED BY THIRTY JELLYFISH AND I AM ON A MISSION I AM ON A MISSION MOSSION WHERE HAS MY MIND GONE I NO LONGER SEE BUBBLES I HAVE VENTURED INTO THE DEPTHS OF THIS WATER THAT REACHES ONLY MY ANKLES MY FINGERS ARE CLENCHING MY MIND HOW COULD MY NAIVITY CREATE SUCH A MASTERPIECE OF DECEPTION I HAD IT ALL ALONG I AM RISING TO THE SURFACE BUGS THAT WALK ON WATER ARE SKIING PAST ME A LEAF OF A FITTING AUTUMNAL PIGMENT SINGS ITS WAY DOWN AND DISRUPTS THE SURFACE OF THE BODY OF WATER IN WHICH I AM STANDING THE RIPPLES IT HAS PROVOKED PENETRATE MY BONE AND MY UPPER HALF BEGINS TO FLY AWAY AND I BID FAREWELL TO THE LOWER SELF I ONCE KNEW SOME BALLOON OF HOT AIR HAS GOT ME NOW AND GOD DAMN I AM SO HIGH
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[03 Mar 2007|04:12am] |
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music |
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Jeff Buckley-So Real |
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I'm sure you can remember a time when you were riding a stallion. You had on chaps of chocolate suede and a fitting gun in your holster. You were riding fast and hard, your horse was at a canter. The breeze and sun together were like 10,000 angels kissing your neck. You stopped to sip some water from the stream nearby and your gun went off. You shot yourself in the foot.
Picture me there, now. I have silt on my knees and an unholy water on my face. I am bleeding to death.
This is me. This is me right now and yesterday and tomorrow.
Love is so fragile I could laugh in its face.
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[08 Feb 2007|07:54pm] |
olivia.
olovia.
olovera.
oh, i love ya.
(love, Jane-Claire.)
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| Bed of nails |
[23 Jan 2007|03:08pm] |
I've come down with something rather unpleasant. I woke up two days ago, comfortably, late afternoon. Within the hour I realized that I could barely swallow my own saliva without my throat feeling like it was caught swallowing 100,000 shards of over-sized glass (mid-attempt).
Since then my sinuses have decided that since I cannot swallow, I may as well not be able to breathe through my nose.
I couldn't sleep last night. I went to bed around 3.30, uncomfortable, sweaty, wishing my head would please detatch itself from my body. I woke up again around ten till 7.00 drenched in cold sweat; I went to go pee and wash my face. When I returned to bed, alone again, I did none other than check my email and, thankfully, eventually drift off. By 11.00 in the morning, I was already up when, naturally, I would have much rather slept. After all, this is my day off...
Clearly, some sort of pity will cure my sickness.
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[20 Apr 2006|11:35am] |
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music |
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background noise: coffee grinder |
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Today's weather rains upon me as much pleasure as a first orgasam or an embrace from Mother Nature herself.
AT MY FAVORITE COFFEE SHOP:
I've conviniently placed myself at the table of which I am most fond, in the middle of everything. Its central stump of a leg is brilliant and cool to the touch, and after dropping my napkin for the third time, I've affectionatly noticed the velvety sweat that has formed upon my brow in its distorted reflection (which now mirrors what lay between my legs).
Placed close to the door, I feel the breeze--deceptive, for with closed eyes I'd never know I wasn't on a raft in the middle of the sea.
I'm eating a veggie burger.
I have class in 10 minutes.
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[18 Dec 2005|07:26pm] |
reality is a whole casket full of self-loathing, ailments, adulthood, quantitative solution, and of course, death.
i've decided to look past it, cover life with a glossy finish, mainly because i like to keep those fingerprints as memories
commence pseudo casual internal bleeding
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| living life like mothers would hate it |
[17 Dec 2005|05:59pm] |
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music |
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modest mouse - the stars are projectors |
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feuding, sex, play, academic unruliness, i love.
this is my generation, this is my now, my advice is worthless, but my right hook says something.
Family is probably the most rich word I know. Rich, not in the sense that its myriad definitions could fill the pages of a short novel, but (primarily) because its own power is strong enough to knock you amorously senseless. My family is blood, my family is speech; my family is a multi-national, multifaceted, multigenerational, indefatigable sort of sensation. We form an intricate uterine clan, baby.
We eat up problems with solutions of optimism, we dig on musical notes and salsa beats, we eat the meat of social gatherings, fists in the air, violently swaying hips, salads and fruitcakes, oh and how we hum the tune of a vibrant life.
Yeah, it is true, but this is a fish who loves the air. Oops, I'm probably moving too fast.
It's been rocky recently, but the life I'm living is good, and I want more of it (always).
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[22 Jun 2005|10:11am] |
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music |
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viktor vaughn-g.m.c. |
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TODAY IS MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
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| milk |
[21 Jun 2005|11:45pm] |
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music |
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edith piaf-le vieux piano |
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all that i know//BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS'BLESS( ''''ask the king )
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[20 Jun 2005|11:59pm] |
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music |
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g-unit - stunt 101 ratatat remix |
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Creativity, , she is a goddess; she is my first kiss on repeat, a statement, an expression, a representation, an art form and a handshake with the unknown. She wears no clothes and kisses me as she speaks. She is a tease, always devilishly flirting with the criminal aspects of night. The apple of my eye, yes, but sometimes I am seeing oranges. She is underground. She has rung the doorbell and is waiting for an answer. She is a strong embrace sucking all the breath out of my lungs, turning my face blue and leaving me out cold. She’s got the noose around my neck.
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[16 Jun 2005|08:34pm] |
also, my left eye hasnt stopped twitching for the past two days (that and my right shoulder)
its really attractive when it happens subsequently although it feels like i just got trampled on by a herd of buffalo unsuspectingly while i was watching family matters
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